“Class is determined by class struggle. There are, of course, an infinite number of ways that humans can be grouped into classes–hair color, blood type, and so forth–but the classes that matter are those defined by the lines of collective struggle. Race is just as much as a political concept as economic class is in this regard.”

I am reading this book by contemporary philosophers Hardt & Negri. It is actually a trilogy — trilogies are quite popular these days — full of hippie-dippie ideas, this post-marxist duet does have some ideas that we can use…  I mean, they are well known scholars, for Christs sake! of course they have ‘some ideas we can use’… I’ll try to elaborate:

Those academic half-gods are linguistics psychopaths… they can turn a simple five-word sentence in such a complicated statement. Because being clear and objective and precise and understandable is not intellectual! How am I supposed to carry a Ph.D title if I can’t get mortals confused??

Anyways, I just wanted to make the point and express my frustration with people who need to appear to be something in order to feel better about themselves–not saying that is the case of the two mentioned in my post, i don’t know them personally and can’t really tell–, that said, I really like the lines I quoted above… and every one that believes their reality ought to be changed through struggle and resistance, should give these guys a try… out of their almost one thousand page trilogy, there are many things that can be used for the occupy movements, for instance.

So, I think the message I want to convey on this post is that classes that matter are those that unite and fight for what they believe will benefit them and their equals. It is important that the multitude carries a singularity in their thought to reach its aims. below, you will find a video made by a friend with some of their demands for change at O.B.–the making of this video was mentioned in one of my earlier posts, it is, using my friend’s words, “an amateur video”, with that she means “not so good production, quality or whatsoever” but it definitely enlightens people about what the occupiers are fighting for

This is gonna be kind of a lousy post… I am still bitter about my life and  a little bit rusty and with not many interesting topics to talk about. my apologies!



The 5 stages of grief

All the way from Limbo, here I ‘write’ again. It’s a relief to think that i don’t really have followers and readers… if so, I’d be far behind on my duty of entertaining them with my boring stories… Well, have been busy running some errands and couldn’t really sit and post till now. I consider myself relocated in my limbo experience… that doesn’t mean anything changed for the better, nor the worse. It just means something is different. I finally left my old house for good and won’t be back to “that reality” ever again, that fact in itself is really good… but that was just the beginning of limbo. There is a long long way to go. And as expected, I am anxious already. I am pretty sure that I’ll experience anxiety many times during this process of walking out of limbo, and that they are going to be hard and painful…

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about my experience and trying to see where in the Kubler-Ross theory I’m at. I came to the conclusion that I am not following a pattern, which – I’ve heard – it is per se one of the possibilities the theory lays. So, for those who don’t know anything about it, a brief overview comes below:

It is said that there are 5 universal  stages of mourning. That theory was first used in 1969 and it has been used ever since. The five stages can come in a sequence, but don’t necessarily have to follow a  determined sequence. They can also be overlaid one by another … also, they don’t all have to happen to one person, which means someone might not experience all the five stages. The five stages are: denial, angry, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They are usually put in that order, I might assume that that would be the most frequently seen sequence they occur… but that’s just my wondering…

Anyways, the order in which they occurred to me were slightly different, maybe oddly different.

As I recognize it, the first stage I went through was BARGAINING. I tried to compromise, tried to make deals, to be patient, to change, to adapt… to me at that point I could make things work no matter what. I felt powerful, and focused. I did believe I could get over any bad storm and look back to say, “I made it!!” There wasn’t anything I didn’t try. I did exhaust all the possibilities.

After that, huge DEPRESSION, I hadn’t have any before, and didn’t know how it felt like… I just couldn’t take it… when I finally realized that there wasn’t anything I could do, I gave up… and at that point, I didn’t really think about anything… I just wanted an easy way out… I didn’t really put any though in it, I wanted that situation to go away… and that’s how I ended up hurting myself and being taken to the hospital, against my will… that wasn’t the best experience I had… just the fact that  I didn’t have any control over my life, the fact that other people were trying to make decisions on my behalf, some were trying to make me believe that I had a bright life ahead and I shouldn’t be let down… all that just aggravated my situation, I felt so powerless and lonely… all I wanted was to be out of there and somewhere I could call home with someone I could count on… I was alone though. I was surrounded by strangers wishing that I would recover soon, while I regretted not succeeding in my attempt. Still in the hospital I started to accept it, but I was still too vulnerable…

Definitely ACCEPTANCE and depression coexisted then… I was really upset with everything, especially not being successful in my attempted suicide… what kind of loser can’t even kill themselves? Such an easy task!! (is it?), but still, I thought there was nothing else to be done and I had to get ready to move on. I finally got out of the hospital and not really sure of what I would do to go on with my life, I hadn’t decided on a specific plan yet.

Of a sudden, and I mean it, of a sudden things seemed to be working out… it’s like the cosmos was fixing it to me… with not really putting any effort on it, because I had already accepted I had been defeated and was decided to move on, but anyways, things just came to me, they just started happening… and I think that that is the tricky part of it… because at that point I just got sucked into the situation again, and I DID BELIEVE this time things would be better, they would be the way they were supposed to.

I think that that was my DENIAL period… I just couldn’t see the heavy clouds forming… Little by little I was made to believe that what I had been looking for had finally come to me. I couldn’t even want to see what was to come….

ANGER? every now and then I get angry… for being so gullible, for wanting it, for chasing it, for betting on it with no fear of losing it all… coz that is what i did…

Right now, I can say I am bouncing back and forth amongst waves of denial, anger and acceptance. But you know? it is soooo hard… I long so much for the day I’m gonna be over this all… the day I’m gonna look back and say that it was just a nightmare and it’s over and I can now see it with different eyes and take a lesson from it… Still part of me insists in believing that I will soon be rescued from this nightmare, that things are going to be ok again, and I will see it was just a silly nightmare and that there is nothing really to get over… and in between these two, so many times I catch myself  angry at the world, at my feelings, my failures, at my loved ones…

Could someone give me a pret-a-porter solution for this drama?

The finally freed West Memphis Three


1994 was not an easy year for me. I had my struggle… but somewhere far away from me, a much harder and scary situation unexpectedly caught 3 teenagers. That year they were tried and found guilty of murder… a crime, however, that they did not perpetrate. They lost 18 years of their lives due to a coerced confession by mentally handicapped, Jessie Misskelley Jr., among other facts presented by their prosecutors.

For those not up-to-date with the story, this is a little overview: in 1993, three 8-year-old angels (Stevie Branch, Michael Moore, and Christopher Byers) were brutally killed and their bodies dumped in a ditch in West Memphis, AR. There was no physical evidence, no weapon, motive, nothing that led to  Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley, Jr.. Still, being outcasts, was enough to convince the justice, the jury and the media that they were the murderers. Because they wore black clothes, liked heavy metal, and explored non-standard religious beliefs, they were accused of and convicted for  sacrificing the 3 little boys in a satanic cult ritual.

After more than 18 years of incarceration and appeals, Damien Echols, Jason Baldwin, and Jessie Misskelley, Jr. were finally set free On August 11th… after admitting guilt though. Really?  According to actor Johnny Depp, “admitting guilt (while) maintaining innocence is a really floppy piece of ground to stand on.” Agreed and supported!  Those men, whose life was half-taken away, deserve to AT LEAST have their records cleared.  It is a matter of justice… They lost 18 years of their lives while the real killer went unpunished!

I know there is a lot going on in the world, in the international scenario, and even in the domestic political realm in this country… However, a nation is a system with multiple,  independent, still interdependent functions… and today, in this post I want to rally in favor of the WM3 and encourage whoever gets a hold of this, and agrees that justice should be made to speak up, make your voice heard somehow, so that some effort is made and some action taken towards further investigation to prove the real killer/s.

some sources:

Paradise Lost (documentary)


In 82 countries, roughly 42% of the countries in the world, people who dub themselves “the 99%”  have been protesting against economic and social inequalities. The term per se is a form of protesting against the accumulation of wealth in the hands of 1% of income earners while the remaining 99% are left with the burden of the 2008-born economic system’s crisis… yeah, that crisis that started when the governments decided to bail out banks instead of their tax-payers. An inevitable question comes up: if I got in trouble because of not being able to control my greed, would the government come to my rescue?? Errrr, I don’t think so… I kinda understand that there was no other way out… but really?? Why did they let it get that far? Because of that, the crisis we live today is not a financial crisis like the one in 1929… It is a complete socio-economic-political fiasco! Governments are going broke because of greed!!! It’s like God being dragged into hell for ignoring popes’ sins… Who is supposed to save us now??? We are by ourselves, and only we can help one another, by getting together and fighting the outrageous exploitation we’ve been submitted to.

Currently, almost 1000 cities over the world have been occupied. Protesters’ main demand is the End of Corporate Domination, which sums up all other demands that presented so far.  I am covering the Occupy Boston movement for obvious reasons, I am now residing in Boston and this movement is part of my reality. I have been following the movement since its beginning in September and today I had the pleasure of helping out a new friend make a video on it, if all goes well, I might post the video myself to help on the distribution process.

As of today (December 7, 2011), Boston occupiers were rendered vulnerable after Judge Frances McIntyre in Suffolk Superior Court  lifted a temporary restraining order that prevented the police from evicting them.

Bostonians, you have to unite and organize, you have to present your demands and fight for them!

do you have GOOD HAIR?

“…women shouldn’t point fingers in other women for whatever they’re doing to enhance their bodies… other than that, do whatever makes you feel good because trust me, if a woman ain’t happy with herself she won’t bring nothing but pain to every f*ing body around her”   Ice T

10am sounds better than 1pm. I really want to look at the bright side of things right now. I am now listening to one of my favorite singers, french-german Patricia Kaas.

Couple years ago I used to wake up early in the morning, open up the windows, and let the warm breeze from the sea in to  blow away all the laziness around me… I’d make breakfast singing along with Kaas. I do love traveling around the world, getting to know other cultures, how other people think, how they live… but sometimes, the simplicity of my lifestyle me manque beaucoup! Enough of my boring story…

Today I am gonna talk about  a documentary that I watched a while ago. The film is titled GOOD HAIR. There are some things that drew my attention in that documentary.

First one:

Beeeeautiful, little girl (she is around 4) gets perms since she was three. Chris Rock asks her if he should get his 3-year-old daughter a perm. Little girl answers yes. He asks why and she says: because you are supposed to get a perm.

Sad but true, that answer shows we are taught to conform, to fit, to please… It is a reality that we know, but we ignore till we see things like that, and we get shocked as if that’s new… even though we know it is not.. Don’t we teach our kids that same-sex lovers/partners are sinners or dirty or just less than “normal” people? Didn’t we learn that if one is not professionally successful one is a total failure? And aren’t we trying to prove ourselves to the world in a daily basis? We are just supposed to…

Second one:

Jason Griggers, one of the Hair Battle Contestants, I looooooooooooooove his attitude. I am not belittling the other contestants, I couldn’t do 0.01% of what they do, and they are simply amazing! But there is some kind of “I just wanna carpe diem”, a “what will be will be” about Jason that mesmerized me! I think that is the one reason why he was the favorite and why everyone else was so concerned about him. …especially at this moment, that’s what I need for my life: I need to focus on what I am good at, believe in myself, do my best and chill… Thanks Jason! You are an inspiration.

Third one:

the quote on the top of this post by musician Ice T is the last shot of the documentary. And as much judgmental we might be of other people, I think he is right! Is it my business if someone is completely plastic or totally artificially enhanced? If they are happy with themselves and if that didn’t hurt anybody else, why the heck should I mind?? Happiness produces happiness… have you ever walked by someone who for whatever reason had a huge grin on  their faces and without noticing you just smiled? It feels like you borrowed someones happiness and enjoyed it for a little while… it’s such a pure and plain feeling.

Well, I’m done for the day. If you have a chance to watch GOOD HAIR, do it. It’s a light, witty,  amusing, slightly sarcastic well done job!  And Chris Rock rocks!!

There’s a fine line between lunacy and genius!

Good afternoon!

This time I couldn’t help waking up late… I had an awful night.. I’ve got a sore throat, a stuffed nose, a backache… woke up several times at night… my bad!  sorry… but you know what? I told you in my first post that would happen… we have ups and downs… even though I’m living a down period of my life, I think that we can “subcategorize” the ups and downs, and for sure, last night and today classify as  a down in my limbo… I gotta cheer up, right? there isn’t much I can do about it… better days will come..

Aaaaaand today, as mentioned yesterday, I am sticking to nutrition as a topic (same source of previous post, different experimenters and discoveries), I’m gonna talk about two lunatic geniuses: J Goldberger and V. Herbert

In the beginnings of  the 19oo’s, an Epidemic of Pellagra in Southern US, drove Goldberger to research and eventually prove that one’s diet directly affected one’s health, and that Pellagra was a result of dietary deficiency, not an infectious disease…  In order to prove his point, he went as far as making Pellagra pills out of feces of his patients aaaand taking the pills… He made that experiment with some of his peers and even his wife, only to prove that Pellagra was not a germ disease… It took the guy 13 years and some more nasty experiments to convince the committee and his critics. I am not that much of a genius, neither would I swallow poop to prove my “geniusy”.. But I do understand from this lesson that it takes perseverance , faith, and strength to get where you want… and bad days will come.. but we gotta be ready for them and not give up on our plans.

Herbert, on his turn, proved that lack of folic acid leads to megaloblastic anemia… and of course he went extreme, he experimented on himself.  He went into a folic acid deficient diet. He’d take blood samples every week and a bone marrow expiration every other week (ouch!!)  Not only his system became depleted of folic acid, but he became forgetful, skinny, irritable and irascible, the household experimented chaos  and frustration…. occasionally he got paralysis –due to lack of potassium in his diet–,  did he quit his weird diet then??  Of course not… he simply added potassium to it and went on…   Eventually, after more than 4 1/2 months he got megaloblastic anemia. He was sooo certain of his findings that in about 48h he “replenished” his folic acid levels with supplements and fully recovered!!

I will try to remember those geniuses’ examples to keep pursuing my goals… no matter how hard it gets! I know better days will come!

Have a good one… more later.

Go essential fatty acids!

Good morning!

Yes, it’s still morning! I did wake up as early as 07:39 am. But couldn’t really get up till 10:00 am…. for an unexpected reason, I’d imagine. I’ll make it clear for my reader: as part of my “recovery” plan, I am now living in limbo for a couple days. Limbo can be extended to couple weeks and perhaps months… (we will see) but anyways, basically what happened was, I advertized my house so I could move out of where I’ve been living for a year and  a half now. I do need a fresh start.

The issue is I anounced publicly that I am gone already… and as far as people around here are concerned, I AM FAR FAR AWAY… So, what I was not counting on, was that one of the people interested in the house would be an acquaintance of mine, which not only wanted to see the house, my bedroom, and all, but also wanted to spend the night over, to “feel” the house or whatsoever…. As a result, I had to hide in a little attic, where my 5’05” can’t stand straight. oh yes, it’s really uncomfortable! I brought basic provisions such as water, some candles, and my computer–basic is relative, just like everything else in life…  Anyways, I coordinated with my roommates to show the house while I hid. Everything went well. And now I’m gonna share a little something that I learned this morning.

Nutrition is the topic, and I might stick to it for a couple days.

It’s claimed eating oily fish reduces the risk of blood clotting.  British physician and self-experimenter, Dr. Hugh Sinclair proved that by experimenting on himself the Inuit diet. Against common sense, Sinclair argued that the 1950s epidemic of heart desease was caused not by eating too much fat, but by eating too little.  He claimed that by eating the right type of fat, we would be able to turn our blood thinner, increasing our bleeding time. Indeed, his bleeding time went from normal 4min to 50 in only 3 months!! The guy could have died of hemorrhage if he had a paper cut!

I’ve been hearing from close friends that they are worried about my appearance. They say I look too tiny, unhealthy tiny… of course, I haven’t been talking about the reasons I’ve been putting down that weight… One can’t really tell the difference by scale numbers, but definitely by my looks… I don’t look as healthy and vigorous as a did couple of years ago. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now… I am not the kind of person who wants to live till my hundreds — I certainly hadn’t thought of dying on my 20s either (that failed attempt came really out of the blue) — but anyways, back to my life expectations: I’ve always,  AND I MEAN IT, since I was a little kid I’ve always been healtyhy…

I remember saying that I wanted to live  long enough so I could taste the good things of life… but that I wanted to die early enough so I wouldn’t have to taste the bitterness of aging…. where I took that “bitterness” from? I have noooo clue… It’s not like I’ve grown up around old sick peeps. oh! who can guess what’s in a child’s mind, right? All I know is that  those ideas were written in stone, and here am I, far from being that child, but still wanting to die early enough, I’d say around my 60s.

Well, that drew my attention to my eating habits, how much they have changed…. how uninterested in cooking I’ve been, latelly,  how careless of my health and well-being I have been, how little I’ve taken care of my skin, my posture, my sanctuary… That is something that might be worked on…. more later



my source (in case you want to deepen your knowledge): BBC’s Medical Mavericks with Michael Mosley